An Immigrant's Inspiring Journey of Healing and Learning to Dance with the Universe
September 16, 2024
In this stirring debut memoir, Prem recounts coming from the rural Philippines to San Francisco as a mail-order bride in 1989 and her subsequent struggle to leave her emotionally abusive marriage. After a brutal childhood marked by poverty and sexual abuse, with solo walks in the mountains as her only respite, Prem learned about mail-order brides during a trip to the library. Certain she’d found her only ticket to “something better,” at age 17 she began corresponding with an American named Harvey. Prem soon moved to San Francisco, married Harvey, and gave birth to two children. It didn’t take long, however, for Harvey to reveal his controlling, emotionally manipulative tendencies. After four years of marriage, Prem left him with only $100 in her pocket, taking her daughters first to Berkeley, Calif., and then to Colorado, where she once again took solace in nature. In the memoir’s second half, Prem tentatively enters a new relationship, returns to the Philippines to face her abusers, and offers her daughters hard-won nuggets of wisdom. Throughout, her tenacity and unstinting optimism inspire. This slim volume pays big emotional dividends.
Starred review from November 1, 2024
This heartfelt and candid memoir depicts the journey of a smart and determined woman who grew up too fast in pursuit of a better life beyond her rural town in the Philippines. Known in 1989 at age 17 as Luisa, she was attracted to girls but married a 33-year-old American pen pal, moved to the U.S., suffered an induced abortion, gave birth to two kids, and found herself divorced and jobless after four years of marriage. Readers will feel deeply immersed in Prem's tale of self-discovery, courage, and resiliency. She recounts the trauma of sexual abuse, her complex love-hate relationship with her family, and feeling starved for affection. She shares her conflicting emotions about her belief in God and her awe for her grandfather, a formidable shaman in her small rural town. Prem's account of her success as a filmmaker, coming out as gay, and finding herself through a mixture of providence and verve will resonate with readers as an introspective and engaging chronicle of what it's like to pursue the American dream with resolution in spite of the ugliness of prejudice. Throughout, Prem imparts words of wisdom and encouragement.
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